JAK! Smallpox monkey! WTF is all about? Terrible blisters all over your face. An illness from Africa that decided to come here for a while.
Transmissible by animal to human and vice versa. So don’t fuck some monkeys. And if you must, then wear protection.
There are currently 78 cases of this disease in the UK. It was mostly limited to people in Africa.
It’s now spreading across Europemostly among the gay population – although it seems that the NHS and the World Health Organization are downplaying the gay side of it.
It was also reported that we should avoid eating meator eat only meat that has been “fully cooked.”
What? Can you catch it from a mid-rare steak? How?
No, you can’t. I have a feeling we are being hurt by people who seem to miss another pandemic. And another plugging.
So what’s going on?
First things first. No, you can’t catch it from a medium-rare rib steak. Or even a very rare steak. Or Chicken Zinger or pork chop. What wasn’t in the titles was the kind of meat you shouldn’t eat.
It turns out that the most dangerous things are a monkey, a squirrel and a rat. Shrub meat.
So try to avoid eating rat biriyani, sautéed squirrel in the basket or chateaubriand of monkey (i.e. chateau-briand of monkey, commoners). And if you can’t, then ask the restaurant to make sure it’s well cooked.
Transmissible from animal to human and vice versa. Don’t kill monkeys, then. And if you must, then wear protection.
Is it like COVID, so, and really easy to catch? No, it’s not. Going out with an infected person can do it, for sure. Any exchange of body fluids is a risk. But otherwise you are in very little danger. It is MUTE harder to catch than Covid.
Does it kill you? No. Almost certainly not. There is a death rate of between one and three percent, which is quite high, to be sure. But this is largely due to the poor health systems in the West African countries where it is prevalent.
Otherwise, it will be a little uncomfortable for a few weeks, maybe three. And you’ll have those blisters, a bit like chickenpox. Then it will go.
But what if the virus mutates, as did Covid? And is it becoming more contagious and more deadly?
No, it almost certainly won’t. Almost all the evidence says that monkeypox is a very stable virus that does not give rise to a mutation. It tends to behave.
UNTESTED TO BE FATAL
So all in all, it’s not very much to write at home, is it? Hard to catch, still very rare and probably not deadly.
And yet we are a little crazy about it.
Don’t worry. People have the heebee-jeebees as a result of Covid. And now every virus that gets here is the cause of a lot of crying and gnashing of teeth.
And there will always be those who shout about another confinement. Probably because they liked the previous ones so much.
So for the rest of us – keep up the good work. Nothing much to see here. Unless, of course, you’re planning to run away with an attractive gibbon that has been feeling under the weather lately.
THANK YOU very much, then, to the avid members of transport union the RMT for threatening to bring chaos to the country on June 6th.
No trains run anywhere. They are very proud of that, the union.
The country is facing rampant inflation and these selfish clowns are determined to make it worse.
The average basic salary for a train driver in the UK is £ 54,000. That’s a lot more than an average teacher’s salary.
The government must not give in to them.
BETWEEN FROK AND LITTLE PLACE SUPER STATUE
A HARMFUL one for the confused wokies, this.
They recently unveiled a statue in Halifax to the 19th-century “Gentleman Jack” – Anne Listerknown as “the first modern lesbian”.
Not sure why someone’s sexual preferences deserve a statue. I really like women dressed as pirates but no one has ever offered to drop a statue of me.
Anyway, the actress Suranne Jones – who plays Lister in the BBC drama – attended the opening. But now it became clear that Lister had benefited from the slave trade.
Oh, what to do? I suggest that as soon as the statue is unveiled, they cheer for a little later throw it into the River Calder.
I SEE football violence returns with revenge.
Port Vale fans physically attacking Swindon Town players. Everton fan mocked Crystal Palace manager Patrick Vieira (and getting a good kick in performance). Northampton fans go doole on the pitch. Nottingham Forest fan attacking Sheffield United player.
My first thought was that if any of this involved fans of my team, Millwall, there would be statements in Parliament and the ground would be closed.
And secondly, will the authorities really continue their plans to reintroduce standing at games?
Killer DOGS CURSE
THIS is another finally a deceived dog owner – Chanel Fong, of Wrexham.
Here is what she said about her American Bully hound: “So many people have said what a passive dog Cookie is, but Cookie didn’t attack Kev, it wasn’t a bad attack – it was a tragic accident.”
What actually happened is that a passive, gentle Cookie tried to eat his partner’s father. And in doing so, he killed him.
And that’s the thing. Whenever I suggest that people who have powerful dogs need an examination of their heads, a bunch of similarly deceived owners will crowd around saying what wonderful pets they are.
And more and more people will be killed.
Meanwhile, a man quoted on Reddit thinks he made a ridiculous prank by calling his dog Askim.
So when people ask what his name is, the owner says, “Yeah, side split, right?”
It is apparently annoying people in the park where he walks the dog.
Wherever it is, they seem like a miserable set.
My own dog’s name is Jessie.
But she is also referred to as Lionel Jessie or Didier Dogba (just like Jeremy Clarkson’s hound).
Also as Slobberdog Milosevic, after the former Serbian leader, and Otto Scamperer, after music director.
Occasionally, my wife will call her Princess Pickle Paws and I sometimes call her Doggrich Dogg of Doggville.
Really, dogs don’t give a monkey the names they are called, do they?
BORISO SAVITA PER MILITO
GORDON Bennett. They even had a karaoke party while the rest of us were locked up!
According to the famous Sue Gray’s report, there were SIXTEEN separate parties. Or meetings. Or p ***-ups, call them whatever you want. One blow lasted until four in the morning.
At another, someone vomited and two people fought. Employees, I guess. “Say that again and I’ll put a bottle of hand cleaner in your action, Oliver.” “Yes, you and whose army, Tarquin, are you ponce?” I’ll open you up like a can of peaches. ‘Oh, you little mop.
It is furious to learn that, from Boris Johnson down, they believed that the rules they had followed for the United States were not intended to apply to them. “Do as I say, not as I do. Illness is for the common people. “
If we ever have another lock, will anyone take it seriously? Knowing THAT THEY WILL NOT? And the prime minister is lying about everything.
There is no doubt in my mind that if all this had happened BEFORE Putin invaded Ukraine, Johnson would already be dead flesh.
He may still be dead meat with the electorate. But the war has focused on the minds of the Conservatives and I suspect that, rightly or wrongly, Johnson will not be changed now.
KEOKE IS ŬERCO
A BRILLIANT evening of entertainment That of Ricky Gervais a new show, Super Nature.
The highlight was a unique section where Ricky, having become a woman, pulls a lesbian. Of course, the woks turn into bananas.
Ricky was said to have “literally killed people” with his jokes.
Two points. As Gervais says, jokes are fiction. They are not the same thing as reality. They are just jokes.
And second, any concept, idea, or belief that can’t stand a bit of nervousness is almost certainly based on a misunderstanding.
Gervais, meanwhile, is going from strength to strength.